Twists
by Blahsblah2001
Summary: Zim hasn't done anything interesting in a while, so the Tallest tell him something just... horrible. ZAGR, but a good one. COMPLETED
1. The plot develops

Just FYI, I don't own Invader Zim. Yeah, you've heard it before. But here's what makes my disclaimer unique…NEITHER DOES JHONEN! Yes, you heard right, Zim actually belongs to Viacom. Weird, huh? That's a life-changing discovery for me. Almost as life-changing as the fact that it's been scientifically proven that Sugar Rushes DON'T EXIST! Yes, I know. I no longer believe in science either. 

Also, this is NOT a ZADR. (Zim and Dib Romance) I don't care how you interpret it. I can't understand the people who write those. They're worse than the people who give Zim a girlfriend. SEVERE OOCs COMING! It's a few years after the show was cancelled, so I figure they might have changed a little, at least.

Zim grinned at his nemesis. He had won today's battle.  
"HA! Today, Dib, I have driven two of your pathetic earth teachers insane!" He beamed. Dib frowned.  
"Y'no, Zim, It's only the second week of school. Now, you have to put up with your creations all year." Zim's smile flickered.

"Yes, Dib…But so do you! That was my intent! So now you won't get a good education! SUCCESS!" He strutted off. Dib sighed. After three years of Zim's melodramatics, they no longer impressed him. He wondered how Zim always registered success, no matter how badly he had screwed up. He put his textbooks into his locker. Algebra II, AP English, Social Studies 9. He put his Speech textbook into his bookbag and walked outside.

Zim walked down his sidewalk. The lawn gnomes eyed him suspiciously. GIR dug holes in the front yard, only to have them automatically filled in by the house. GIR looked forlornly at the grass already starting to grow. Then he dug another hole. Zim sighed, and walked inside.  
"Ziiiim," The computer whined "I've been filling in these holes all day. Why can't we get a babysitter or something? I never have any free time!"  
He made a mental note to undo the upgrade he had made on the computers artificial personality. It was a little out of hand. A little red light blinked on the console. Zim grinned. The weekly report to the Tallest was just what he needed. But why had they called him?  
"Eh, Zim?" Said Red. He looked at Purple, grinning.  
"Oh, go on. You drew the long straw. Quit gloating." Ordered Purple.  
"Ok, here goes. Zim, we have something really important we've been meaning to tell you. You see, you haven't been doing a nything really funny for a while, so…"

Dib raised his hand. Ms. Bitters looked at him with horror. "What is it, Dib?" Dib stood up.  
"Ms. Bitters, how is it that you teach a Middle Skool class all day, but you can still teach us here most periods?" "That has to do with the unholy force disconnecting the Skools from the rest of the time zone. That's covered in 10th grade." Ms. Bitters started doom-speaking more.  
"Ms. Bitters?" Ms. Bitters growled.  
"Ms. Bitters, isn't the Skool supposed to check on a student when they've been missing for more than two days"  
"Yes. Yes they are."  
"So where's Zim? He's been missing a whole week."  
"Just because the government makes it a law doesn't mean we have to."  
"Um… OK." Dib sat down.

Dib stood outside the glowing green house. It wasn't even his fault he was there. Ever since his dad had moved them into the house next door, Dib was at that house evry day. (The poor guy next to Zim finally got tired of the wires and moved)  
He couldn't decide if it was good, because he could spy on Zim, or bad because he was next door to his hated enemy. He sighed. While he was there…well…he might as well make sure the lawn gnomes still worked. He walked up the path. The gnomes didn't move. This worried him a little. He walked to the front door and kicked it open, expecting to see Zim with some kind of arsenal. The room was empty. Except for a little green dog, who paced worriedly. In three years, Zim had updated the little android quite a lot. He could speak in a semi-regular voice now. His sentences made a little more sense.  
And he was still horribly loud. And still played with Pig.

"Big-headed Dib boy!"  
"Yeah?"  
"DOES YOU GOT A BOMB!?!?!?!?!"  
"Ummm…no."  
"Ok. Could you help me with this?"  
"With what?"  
"Master won't eat. Or move. Or do anything but cry."  
"ZIM'S CRYING?!?!"  
"Yeah, but don't tell him I told you. He'll go off yelling again."  
"Again."  
"Uh-huh. Couple days ago, he got a call from the Big Tall Guys. I dunno what they said, but he went all nuts and broke stuff"  
"Yeah!" Intoned the Computer. "It been five days, and I still haven't fixed it all. That flame thrower…wow."  
Dib quirked an eyebrow. Why hadn't he used this destructive power on Earth, instead of his base?  
"Ok. What do you want me to do."  
"Just help me carry him."  
GIR marched off, toward the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door, and walked inside. Dib followed. The door closed, and Dib felt the fridge jerk. They were going down.  
When the door opened, Dib half-expected Zim to be there with a triumphant look on his face, but he wasn't. Dib was glad. The little blue robot hopped off into the purple shadows of the base. Dib wondered how far down they were. Probably really far.  
"OOOVVER HEEEERE!" Came echoing out of the darkness. Dib followed the voice. It was pretty dark down here.  
"See? He's been right there for about 5 days. I can't get him to do anything."  
Dib gasped. His once proud enemy lay in the metal floor. He was sleeping. Dib realized the robot's need to get Zim to eat: He looked emaciated. Briefly, Dib wondered what Zim ate. He hated all Earth food.

"I was thinking we should move him up into the house. At least there's light up there"  
Dib nodded. The computer had a point. He looked over at GIR, who was squeezing a rubber moose.  
"GIR, can you get the right side? I'll get the left." Dib pulled Zim up. Zim groaned and opened his ruby eyes. They widened in shock.  
"GIR! There's an intruder in the base! Defensive mode!" GIR didn't respond. He just grabbed Zim's right arm. Zim kicked at Dib.  
"What have you done to GIR? I made sure he would go into defensive mode! I fixed that on Halloween! He's been working for THREE YEARS!" Dib shrugged.

"I didn't do anything to him. He got ME to come down here." Zim glared, but then dropped it. Dib had made it into his base.  
And he was powerless to stop anything Dib wanted to do. He didn't know that GIR's digging had screwed up the gnomes. The computer hadn't fixed them yet.  
"Actually, Sir," Said the computer. "GIR is running on full defensive mode. That's why he's taking you upstairs. You are gonna die if you don't eat something"  
Zim didn't scowl like he normally would have. Instead, he just looked sad. All the way to the elevator, he didn't say a word. Dib and GIR let go of his arms. He stood, for a moment, but then overbalanced when the elevator started up. Dib caught him before he hit the floor. Zim gave him a look of gratitude, but didn't say anything. Dib understood. Something had obviously happened to the little Irken. When you were as deeply submersed in the sea of denial as Zim was, it took something really huge to get through to you. (Megadoomer, cough, cough)  
The elevator stopped, and the refrigerator opened again. Dib ducked. The fridge wasn't tall enough, a fact he hadn't noticed going down. Dib had grown since 6th grade. He was now about 5'9. Zim had grown too, surprisingly. He had come up to 5'2. That was 4 inches taller than the Irken average.

The three of them stepped out into the green room. Zim seriously considered telling the computer to kick Dib out, but deep down, he knew Dib wanted to help. Right now, at least. He stumbled over to the real fridge, which was concealed in a wall.  
He took out an Irken Lick-em-stick. On an afterthought, he threw one of GIR's sodas at Dib.Dib caught it, and popped it open. Zim walked over to the couch. No longer did he need his spider legs to get on it. He sat on the far left side. Dib sat on the far right. He didn't feel quite right in this room. All the other times, he had been on his guard. Hanging from the ceiling with cameras silently recording. But this time, he just watched the green boy eat his Irken food, and wondered.  
It wasn't that he didn't have a camera. No, ever since finding the colony of Rat people in the parking garage, he carried a video camera and a regular camera with him at all times, in a backpack. That little trick he had picked up from Zim. Zim had everything a person could want in that bio-mechanical pak.

"Umm…You haven't been up to any evil in a while… I got concerned. Are you gonna tell me your plan?"  
"No, Dib- Monkey. There is no plan. And there never will be again."  
"Are you going back to your home planet? Don't you want Earth?"  
"No. I'm not going back to Irk. They won't let me. The Tallest never wanted Earth. They just wanted to get rid of me."  
'Wow. Waitaminit. You're planet's name is Irk? That's funny." Zim looked at him balefully. Dib blushed.  
"Um. I guess it means something different in your language. Probably not what it means in our language."  
"What it mans in our language can't even be translated into your language. It means…" Zim stared at the ceiling. "Inkr temor outhe kemouure temeto haslemg treia. Yrti ourpn grate. Nyish." He smiled sadly. "I'm forgetting. I can't remember my pod on Irk anymore. It's only been four years since I was there. I should still remember"  
Dib frowned. Zim said his memories were all in his pak. He shouldn't forget unless his pak was gone. Or malfunctioning.  
Could paks malfunction?  
"Aren't all your memories in your pak? It's not broken is it?" Zim gave him a look.  
"No. Irken technology does not 'break.' It's being erased. The Tallest are erasing it."  
"How? Can't you stop it?"  
"It's being reabsorbed by control brains. They access it through a remote link. I can't remove the link without losing all communications with Irk"  
"So you'd rather DIE than lose contact with the people who abandoned you?" Zim's face contorted with rage.  
"How would you know? All I've wanted all my life was to be an Invader! It was programmed into my pak before I was even brought to life! And now I find out that my whole life has been a joke! My mission only continued because The Tallest found by struggles amusing! Even GIR! I believed for three years that he was advanced, because that's what they told me. When I finally looked closely, when I pushed away all my chips, the things I had added, he only worked because two loose wired randomly crossed. If they hadn't been touching, he would have just been a pile of spare robot parts. They weren't even up-to-date parts. They were broken prototypes." Dib nodded.  
"Harsh. But really, Zim. There's other stuff to life besides destroying planets. Why don't you just stay on Earth because it's nice here? You don't have to hate us anymore; we're not your targets."  
"That is correct." Said the Computer. "Why don't you try it, Zim?"  
"Because I don't want to!"  
"That's kinda too bad, cuz I just accidentally disrupted all communications lines and the control room has imploded. That's your fault, Mr. Destructive Rage."  
"ARRRGH! This is a conspiracy, I know it. This is all your fault, Dib." Dib shrugged. At least Zim had the same reasoning. "I hate doing this, Zim, but you really need it. Wanna come…" Dib gulped. 'This could be a trap!' said a tinny voice in his head. He ignored it.  
"Wanna come to my house and do something? We could watch a movie or something."  
Zim considered for a moment. Deep-ingrained hate for Dib versus the need to do something, anything, with another person.  
"I have nothing else to do at the moment. My base is repairing it's self. So I will take you up on that. Out of sheer boredom." Dib knew a bluff when he saw it. Zim needed someone to talk to. He pictured three years on a strange planet,  
hating everyone around you. It wasn't good.  
Zim stood shakily up. He was already almost OK. Irken Lik-em-sticks are really healthy. Plus, Irkens heal really fast. So Zim was getting better while they spoke.  
"What movies do you have?"  
"Intestines of War…"  
"Oh, God no. Ohhh, the memories that movie left me with…"  
Ok…I'm not even gonna ask." They made their way over to Dib's house. Gaz sat on the couch, playing her Gameslave 8.734. She looked up for a millisecond when Dib came in. She did a double-take.  
"Holy COW! Dib! You let Zim in our house! WOW! Zim, I got nothing against you, but what did you do to Dib?"  
"I have done nothing. This is all Dib's fault."  
"Yeah, Gaz. I invited him. I think we've been enemies too long." Zim was grateful that he didn't say anything about the Tallest.  
"Ok…If the old Dib surfaces anytime soon, call me. I wanna watch you fight. It's usually really funny."  
"Whatever." said Zim. The two boys walked up the stairs to Dib's room. Gaz smiled a little. Zim was gonna be in her house now. That's cool. She unpaused her game, and resumed her pig massacring.

Yay! I just added ALL the punctuation on this thing cuz it didn't upload! So you all OWE ME!!


	2. The PROBLEM HAPPENS

Chapter 2.  
Uh, oh. I made Gaz like Zim. (I don't own those guys, I'm not special enough.) That can only lead one place. I'm so horrible. I hate myself. (Hits self in head) Bad Melissa! Baaaad.  
Inevitable ZAGR…OF PAIN! Also, in order to understand this chapter, you have to know my 'pak' theory. Ok, I think that the reason Zim is so eccentric is because of his pak. All Irkens have paks. They have translators and stuff in them. Also, a Tallest -> Brains -> Irkens link makes all Irkens think the same as the Tallest, or the way the Tallest want them to think. Zim gets his opinions through his pak. But his pak's broken, so it horribly distorts and magnifies all his opinions.  
I do have the end of this, just not on yet. It's at my Website, which you MUST GO TO!!! 

Two weeks later  
Zim lay on Dib's roof, and looked at the stars. Dib pointed out the constellations. Zim found the fact that humans found shapes in the stars amazing. For an Irken, the stars changed position all the time. Very few ever stayed in one place for any amount of time.  
"That's Ursa Minor. The little bear. Over there is Ursa Major. The Big Bear. Some people say they look like Bears, some say that they look like Dippers." Zim laughed.  
"Your people think that dippers and bears look the same? HA! Primitive humans."  
"Oh, shut up. At least we don't base our Gov't on height."  
(Zim, no longer having all his opinions automatically downloaded into his pak, now kinda understood the stupidity of this)  
"Well we aren't planet bound. Your space ships. Ha! You can barely even make it to your own moon. That's not a ship, it's a RAFT." Dib had nothing to say to this. Zim's technology, while outdated by Irken standards, was still years ahead of Earth's. He changed the subject.  
"Could you do something for me? Gaz's birthday is coming up. It's on September 29th. She's got every game made by humans. Is there any chance that I could use Irken technology to make her something else? Is your stuff compatible with ours?"  
"Yes, for some reason, my technology is compatible with your puny Earth machines. And you can use my base. But you've gotta come down into the labs. I figure you've been down there before, and I haven't been dissected yet, so I can trust you for now." Zim's fake purple eyes looked into Dib's amber ones. And Dib saw sincerity there. He smiled.  
"You can trust me. Truth be told, I haven't thought of dissection in a while. I guess it got old"  
"Ms. Bitters yelled at you for drawing it, more likely." Dib blushed, remembering the drawings he used to do. He still had a few of them in a box in his room, along with sketches he did of Zim, slug people, and bigfeet. He wondered why he didn't throw it away.  
"Wanna go work on it now?"  
"Ok. I was thinking about something with attack squirrels!"  
"With nut-lobbing action." The two boys laughed as they made their way down off the roof. Gaz sat in her room, not even noticing as one, then the other flew past her window, to land with a crash on the ground. She was writing in her journal. She wrote with the practiced ease of someone copying down notes. But inside, deep within the shell she had built around herself, she felt emotion. It burned at the thick walls she had built to keep it in. And it grew.

_'Zim comes over almost every day now.' She wrote. 'At first, Dib thought it might have been a trap, and I'm sure Zim must have thought the same. But now they laugh and joke like pre-skool friends. I guess I should be glad that Dib has someone else to rant to now. But I kind of miss it.  
'And it seems like I'm jealous of him. But why should I be? Friends are no good. They're just human. And humans will disappoint me. Like mom did. I guess that's why I like Zim so much'  
_She stopped dead. She stared wide-eyed at the last line. Why had she written that? She scribbled over the black ink, covered it so hard that the ink pooled, and drained through onto the next page. Silently, she resumed writing.

"Tell me again. You humans celebrate your own births because why? Irkens have no such obligations. I don't even know how old I am." Dib rolled his eyes.  
"Ok, we celebrate our birthdays because we are glad that someone we love has come into our lives. Like I love Gaz, so I'm glad she was born. So I celebrate the anniversary. And celebrating means gifts. That's how it works on Earth."  
Zim thought for a moment in silence.  
"So, that means YOU have a birthday, too, right? When is it?"  
"Oh, it's already passed. It was back on August 24th." Zim's eyes widened. "Wasn't that the day I-" Dib nodded.  
"Yup. That's the day I locked you in the girl's bathroom. And than you stuck me in the air conditioning vents." Dib laughed. "Man, don't feel bad. Had I done that to you, I would still be laughing about it today. Hey, remember that time you came to school covered in meat? I laughed so hard I almost threw up"  
"Remember that time I hit you with that water balloon? That decimated the whole city. You humans regenerate fast." (Really, it's amazing that they could be friends after all this)  
"Remember that time I got trapped in your space ship? And Gaz had to come get me? And then you came into Bloaty's? You were scared to death by those awful robots!"  
"Remember the time you sucked me into your head? It's scary in there."  
"And you left me in there."  
"Well YOU gave me to the nightmare creatures!"  
Dib tackled Zim, and they rolled around the base, wrestling like little kids. After a minute, Zim released his spider legs, which lifted Dib up by his shirt. Zim stood haughtily, grinning at his defeated friend.  
"You know… I still wanna see what you look like with your organs on the outside." He said jokingly.  
"NOOOO!!!!" Yelled Dib, fighting the metal appendages. He wasn't sure that Zim was kidding. The little alien did malicious glee very well. Zim dropped him.  
"I was just kidding." He said. Then he had an idea. He looked at Dib, who was still on his guard.  
"GIR! Come play with Dib!" A high-pitched squeal came from the walls, the ceiling, and the floor. It was horrifying, in a funny way. Dib looked at Zim, a look of pure fear on his face. "NO! Zim, please don't! Oh…." Zim grinned.  
"I'll be back in one second" He said, and disappeared into a hole in the floor.  
Dib looked fearfully around him, into the shadowy corners of the subterranean room. On the ceiling, tubes and wired moved. He jumped at every little sound. Then-  
In the darkest corner, two cyan circles glowed. There was a glint of metal as the little robot's mouth formed a huge smile. It advanced slowly toward the cowering Dib.  
"Have you met my little friend?" Gir asked in a creepy voice.  
"N-no, I don't think-"  
'PIIIGGG!!!!!! PIG COMERE! I WANT YOU TO MEET DIB!" The robot grinned hugely at Dib. Then he noticed that Dib wasn't happy.  
"Aww, Master's Friend not happy." Gir frowned. "I know what'll fix that. I'M GONNA HUG YOOUUUU!!" Gir ran toward the helpless boy. Just before he got there, Dib fell through a hole in the floor, landing on his butt. He sighed.  
"Sorry about Gir, I haven't fixed all of him yet." Dib jumped up and whirled around. Zim stood there, grinning.  
"C'mon, I have something to show you." Dib followed him to the elevator. They went up several floors. The doors opened. Dib gasped.  
On a high pedestal on the center of the domed room was the Voot Runner. A metal ramp descended, and Zim walked up it. Dib followed, still in awe of the sleek machine.  
"There's only one seat, so it might be kinda cramped." Zim said. Dib said nothing. Did that mean what he thought it meant?  
The purple craft had its windshield open, and Zim stepped in. He sat in the half-moon shaped seat. There were two panels behind him that Dib guessed led to storage compartments. Dib climbed in next to Zim, and sat on the metal floor. It was warm to the touch. Zim hit a button, and the shield closed. The roof opened up, and the Voot shot up into the night sky. Zim's red eyes searched the horizon, and located a certain constellation.  
"How would you like to miss a few days of Skool?" Dib nodded. It would give the poor teachers some time to recover. Their fighting had been awful, but their friendship had driven the teachers to madness. It didn't help that they had all the same classes.  
"Well, then. Let's go see this 'bear' of yours. Big or little? I happen to know that Invader Groot is on a planet in the little…"  
"Big, then. Definitely." Zim grinned, and the ship flew off onto the sky at a rate unknown to humans. Speed of light was child's play to the Irkens. But it wasn't until they were far past Betelgeuse that Zim realized that something was wrong.

For the first time since she was a little girl, Gaz cried. She hadn't thought she would miss Dib if he decided to take off for the stars, but… She looked over at the orphaned little green dog. It played on the floor in front of Zim's huge TV. The Scary Monkey growled menacingly. For the fifth time she walked to the elevator. It took her down to the same room. The computer, having an artificial intelligence, knew what she needed to see. Just to reassure herself that it wasn't just a horrible nightmare. That Dib wasn't going to come running in, babbling about how cool the solar system was, Zim trailing behind. But the words remained on the screen, glowing red in the eerie darkness.

Voot runner destroyed. Location: k-938.  
Gaz blinked back tears. She had seen the Voot runner leave, barely two days ago. It wasn't the first time. Her window was level with Zim's roof. Every time he left or returned, she knew. But that was the first time Dib had been in it, his eager face looking out the shield, and grinning. He saw her, and knew that she had seen all this before. And he was temporarily upset. What he would have given to have it on tape only a month ago… And that was the last time she would ever see him. She thought of the last time she had ever seen her mother. She was in the hospital. How sad she had looked. She gave Gaz the silver skull pendant, and then the doctors had to take her away.

Gaz had cried and cried, but her tears did nothing. So she took them and built a wall around her heart. And for years nothing could get through. But this could. She sobbed like a little child, and the emotions swelled, and broke through the wall she had built so long ago. Rage, and fear and sadness filled her, and she had a thought.  
"COMPUTER!" She screamed. The computer was programmed not to react to anyone but Zim, but her voice made him fear for his artificial life.  
"Yes?" It said timidly.  
"What is k-938?"  
"k-938: Planet not yet conquered by the Irken Empire. Coordinates are-"  
"Yes, yes, very good. Can you put yourself in a disc?"  
"Um, I've never tried but-"  
"Do it."  
"OK."

Tak's ship did not like being bossed around by a 13-year old girl. Gaz didn't really care what the ship thought. At least she had Zim's computer in there too, to keep Tak from any mischief. The ship rose into the sky, and took off toward the Big Dipper.  
To be continued...


	3. You are hooked on this story

Chapter 3  
Under normal circumstances, Zim would have found some way to blame this on Dib. And vice versa. But really, it was no one's fault. Maybe Zim should have checked the pressure before they left. Maybe Dib should have heard the ever-so-slight hissing next to his seat. Either way, laying on the blame was not gonna fix the Voot.  
In a one-to-a-million chance, they had managed to crash onto a planet with an atmosphere. Zim was suddenly glad that he had paid attention in geography. There was slightly less oxygen in the atmosphere, and a little more hydrogen. But it was breathable. Zim's atmospheric adjustor compensated for him, but Dib… The Earth boy breathed hard, as if he had just run very far. For a moment, he had wondered about carbon monoxide in the atmosphere. He smirked at that now. What could he do about it if there was? Not breathe?  
He envied Zim's pak more now than he ever had. He was totally prepared for everything. There was a generator that made 'food' in a word. Irken food. It wasn't that bad. It felt like eating chalk, but he wasn't hungry.  
Zim walked around the barren plains. Well, actually, he bounced. It was a small planet. There were a few straggly plants, but that was it. No sign of intelligent life, or even stupid life. Just plants. And then he walked into the 'night'  
"DIB! C'mon, we gotta move. NOW!" Zim jumped back into the sunlight, knocking small pieces of ice off his green skin even as they melted. Dib saw the ice. And he started moving.  
(Ok, here's what is happening here. The little compassy-thing says which way North is. The sun here rises in the South. It's setting in the North. And they have to follow it to keep from freezing to death. Everybody get it? OK)  
They moved at a quick pace until they were about a mile north of nightfall. Then they had to slow down. Running is hard on Earth, where there's plenty of oxygen. So they bounced slowly along, once in a while looking behind them to see if the darkness was getting any closer. It was. 

"Proximity warning: Planet ahead. Are you LISTENING, Earth-monkey?" Gaz shook her head, purple hair falling to her shoulders. It wasn't comfortable in the ship, built for a 4-foot Irken. At 4 foot 11, she was quite squished in the little ship.  
"HEY! Wake up, or I'll jettison you and take off on my own!"  
"You will do no such thing." Zim's computer flared the screens to prove that he was there too. Invisibly, Tak crossed her arms and pouted.  
"What were you saying about a planet?"  
"Oh, yeah. Do you know how long you've been asleep? Almost twelve hours. I told you not to stay up so long before. You just watched the stars move for the first twelve, and then you slept for twelve, and now we're gonna be there in an hour, and your sleep schedule is gonna be really messed up."  
" All I really needed to hear of that was 'we're gonna be there in an hour' Jeez, you Irkens and your 'we're always right'..."  
"We ARE always right, human."  
"Then why is Zim so incompetent?"  
"NO FAIR!" Both computers shouted in unison. "Zim's a defective. He doesn't count."  
"Oh, yes he does!" Yelled Gaz gleefully. This was great.  
"Well if he's so incompetent, why do you like him so much?" Asked Tak. Gaz paled. Why did this keep coming up?  
"I DON'T!" She yelled. The computers shared a malicious grin. This was gonna be fun.  
"Yes you doooo!" Said Tak.  
"You talk in your sleep." Said Zim's computer.  
"No I don't." Said, Gaz, confused. The computers looked guilty.  
"Ok, fine. We just listened to your thoughts. We can do that, you know. That's how Tak got her personality into the ship."  
"Yeah. You do like him. You dooo!" Gaz settled back in the half-moon seat to think. So what if she did like him? It wasn't like he liked her. She'd barely ever said anything to him. Not counting threats of disembowelment, that is. She'd probably scared him off.  
Just like she scared everyone else off.  
She shook her head. It wasn't her fault. How was she supposed to get close to anyone after what had happened?  
"Dib did." Said Tak.  
Gaz glared. Tak cowered. "Maybe we should just stay out of this." Said Zim's computer.  
"Yeah." Said Gaz. She fell back into herself and thought.  
"You know," Said Tak "I hate Zim, but since I'm a computer, I really don't care about revenge, or being an Invader. And I've listened to enough music to know that if you like somebody, you should tell them".  
"Maybe." Said Gaz. "If I can find them. If they haven't gone and blown themselves up." The computers had nothing to say to that.

Dib fell slowly onto the cold yellow dust. Zim tried to pull him up, but he was tired too.  
"C'mon, Dib. We've gotta keep going. If we don't we're gonna get caught in the dark. The dark is very, VERY cold, Dib."  
"Why? Why keep going? We've gotta keep going until what? Who knows we're here, Zim? The only person who even knows we left is Gaz. We've been bouncing ahead of the dark for twenty-four hours, Zim. We're racing the sun. And it's not stopping for rest breaks."  
"I don't know why we have to keep going. But we do. We can't just stop and die when we can keep going."  
"This is real funny coming from the guy who would have let himself die because his abandoners felt like killing him"  
"SHUT UP! That's different! Loyalty is bred into us from generations of modifications. They try to eliminate all emotion except loyalty. Are you humans bred to give up?"  
"No! But we're running on energy we don't have. On hope that is groundless."  
"Yes. Groundless. That's why they call it hope, Earth-monkey."  
Dib stared up at Zim. Then he looked back at the advancing darkness. And he stood up. And started bouncing again.

Several hours later Dib looked at the ground. It was yellow dirt. No rocks or sand or even plants. It flew up at him, then retreated, then came up, and retreated. He fell into a pattern, not paying attention to anything other than the ground. Up, down. Up, down. Up, down.  
"Dib?" The question jerked him out if his lull. The exhaustion flew back at him.  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm sorry we were enemies for so long. I should have seen the world around me. I was too wrapped up in trying to do my job."  
"Wow. An apology. From you. Am I dead? This can't be real."  
"All jokes aside, human. I am sorry"  
"I'm sorry too. I wonder if anyone has noticed we're gone yet. Certainly not my dad. He probably hasn't even come home yet."  
"Not yet? We've been gone for over three days. I never knew he spent so long at work. It must be awful trying to live with just yourself."  
"Just me and Gaz."  
"Don't answer if you don't want to. What about your mother?"  
"Mom died when I was five. Gaz was only four then. She got sick. Really sick. I don't even know what she had, but one day she was fine and the next…" Dib trailed off. Zim didn't say anything.  
"Dad couldn't find a cure in time, and he hated himself for it. So he wrapped himself up in his work. He became obsessed with making everything perfect. And I got paranoid. Every time someone coughed, I was sure they were sick with the same disease. After a few years, the paranoia spread to other things." He sighed.  
"I wish that we had been a better family."  
"Irkens don't have families. But they sound like desirable things. We aren't supposed to feel 'affection' as you humans call it. But I do. I feel it." He looked over at Dib.  
"I like you. I was always led to believe that any emotion was bad and could jeopardize the mission. But now there is no mission. And I can feel what I like."  
"You really need a girlfriend, Zim. Really." Zim's eyes shut. His antenna stood straight up. Then he opened them.  
"I would have. I did like an Earth girl. Almost since before the Tallest abandoned me. But I couldn't admit it to anyone. But now, since we're probably gonna die… I liked Gaz." Dib's eyes almost fell out of his head.  
"SEE! If I'd have told you that earlier, you would have strangled me."  
"That's true. Wow. Gaz. I never even would have thought. The thought of Gaz with a boyfriend is really weird."  
"She doesn't like me anyway. I don't think she likes anyone."  
"We better go faster. The dark is right behind us." Zim turned. The night was no more than a half-mile behind them. As he watched, dark ice crystals grew on the flat landscape.

Gaz looked at the approaching planet. It was pretty small.  
"At least it has an atmosphere." Said Tak. "You should be Ok without a spacesuit. Good thing, because we don't have a spacesuit."  
"Approaching Voot coordinates." Said Zim's computer. The ship set down next to the remains of the Voot. Gaz gasped as a layer of ice formed over the windshield of her ship.  
"Wow. Cold." She said.  
"Oh, don't worry about that. The sun's coming up. It should hit the ship…now." The ice melted away instantaneously as the sun's rays hit the ship. Gaz jumped out, and walked to the Voot. She climbed through the broken windshield into the cockpit. The half-moon seat was slashed in several places. But the ship was empty. She climbed back out, and looked around for evidence of life. She saw two sets of footprints heading north. There were no returning prints. She turned back to her ship.  
"They're somewhere on this planet. And they were alive when the sun set here. We need to find them. They've been trying to escape the sunset for a day and a half." She climbed into her ship, and it flew off, following the footprints.

"That's it. The water condenser is broken. There isn't any water left to be had, unless we wait for the ice." Zim sat on the dry ground. Dib sat next to him, then leaned back and lay on his back.  
"What do the Irkens think about death?"  
"It is to be avoided at all costs. That is what I know."  
"We can't avoid it anymore."  
"I know. I know."  
Zim lay on his back too. They looked up at the alien sky.  
"No pictures in these stars."  
"No, there is. Look there, Dib. There's a snake. Or maybe it's a gopher."  
The two boys laughed as the dark washed over them.

"There they are!" The ship dived toward the ground, and the two still forms on the ice-coated ground. Two robo-arms cam out, and grabbed them. A second later, they were inside the ship. Warm air filled the cramped area, and water pooled on the ground as the ice melted. Gaz went first to her brother. He probably had frostbite. But he was alive. And he was beginning to come around. She pulled a piece of ice out of his hair.  
"GAZ!" yelled Zim's computer. "Gaz, Zim isn't breathing!" Gaz forgot the expansive array of Irken technology that surrounded her, and applied the kiss of life. Dib grimaced a little. _'Please, Zim, don't be dead'  
_"I've released the nanobots. They should be fixing your frostbite. If you feel a little-"  
"SHUT UP! Forget me, help Zim! HE'S the one who's dying!"  
"Oh, no, he'll be-"  
"REACTIVATE!" Yelled a female voice. Tak looked at the floor. "Sorry." She said quietly.  
"Like I was saying, I think he'll be ok." Finished the computer.  
Gaz looked around.  
"He's breathing again. Tak, is he gonna be ok?"  
"Oh, I'm sure he'll be fine." Said the embarrassed computer.  
"Yeah, once the circuits in his pak thaw out he'll be back to normal. Interesting revival technique you humans have." Gaz blushed.  
"Oh, be quiet."  
"Anyway, I've released the nanobots. They should clear up any frostbite you two have. They sometimes go a little overboard, though. You might have to get your eye-lens prescription changed." Dib rolled his eyes. Like that was one of his worries right now.  
Zim moaned, and opened his eyes. He saw Gaz, and quickly sat up, dusting himself off.  
"Is this Tak's ship?" He asked. Dib nodded. "Gaz, how you got this thing working is beyond me."  
"Irken technology is programmed to fix it's self." Said Zim, confused.  
"I knew that." Said Gaz. "It was just a matter of persuasion." Tak giggled.  
"Your sister is a lot meaner than you Dib. All you ever did was cuss at me. Like I would respond to _that._"  
"Shut up, Tak." Said Dib.  
"Are there any spare parts on this ship? I want to see if I can fix the Voot. It might be cramped in this ship for two days." Said Zim. The Dib and Gaz nodded. They flew back to the crash site. Zim managed to fix the ship well enough that it would fly, at least. He got the disc of his computer, and put it into his ship to make sure that he would be informed of any problems. The computer ran a diagnostic, and the Voot came up OK. Just to be safe, Dib and Gaz went in Tak's ship. The two ships rose into the black sky, and flew off toward home. A plant turned to another, awestruck.  
"Did you see that?" Asked one.  
"Yeah! Aliens! They sure were ugly."

"You kids know not to stay out past ten!" Professor Membrane said. "It's dangerous out there. You know that." Dib and Gaz looked at each other sadly. They had been gone for almost a week, and their Dad only knew that they were gone the last hour.  
"Yes, dad. We know. We won't do it again." Said Dib. Gaz went to her room to write in her journal. Dib went to his room, and locked the door. He pulled out the old box of drawings he had done so long ago. Slowly, methodically, he tore them all into pieces.  
"Dib!" His father yelled from downstairs. "Dib, the spaceship you parked in the backyard is gonna kill the grass! Put it in the gar- No, never mind, it's moving itself." Dib dropped into bed, and was asleep in an instant.

_Dear diary,  
I haven't written in you for a while. I've been in space looking for Zim and Dib. They almost killed themselves. What_ _do you expect from a bunch of boys though, really?  
Two days of sitting in a ship thinking showed me a lot of things. The two computers babbling to me all the time helped too. I guess I really do like Zim. But it doesn't matter, really. He wouldn't like me. I've always been mean to him. Except I guess I kinda saved his life. Maybe that counts for something. Maybe not._  
_Something about him tells me that he's not trying to conquer Earth any more. I think maybe something happened to him. Something really bad. He's not so high and mighty any more. I think most of the 'Irkens are superior' stuff is now more out of habit than conviction. Maybe Tak's right. Maybe I should talk to him. I dunno. I'm going to bed._

In the house next door, Zim put the finishing touches on Gaz's game. This would take her a while. The last level was statistically almost impossible to beat. Today had been her birthday. They had spent most of it peering out the window, looking for the first glimpse of Earth. They had just gotten home a few minutes ago. Zim decided to give her the game tomorrow. She was probably asleep now anyway.  
He envied the human's ability to sleep basically at will. Irkens needed to be in a supreme state of exhaustion. Once a month usually sufficed to keep them well rested.  
Ah, well. Suddenly a spark of an idea formed in his head. It grew into a flame, then a bonfire. He began working on the game again. A level beyond the last level. Statistics had nothing to do with beating this one.

To be continued....


	4. There are large portions of SUGAR!

"Happy birthday Gaz!" Dib yelled. Gaz sat straight up in bed. Her heart went a million miles an hour.  
"Me and Zim figured since you had to spend your birthday in space…and it's our fault…We would make today your birthday." Gaz grinned a little.  
"Um, Zim's waiting downstairs. We'll meet you down there when you get dressed, OK? We made you breakfast." Downstairs the smoke alarm blared. The others in the house soon took up the call.  
"STUPID HUMAN TOASTER!!!!!!!"  
"Ummm. Yeah. I'm gonna go take care of that. See you in a few minutes." 

Gaz came down the stairs slowly, hoping that she didn't see a smoking charred ruin. She didn't see anything blackened, so she relaxed.  
"Sit down, we'll be done in one second." Said Dib. He was working on something she couldn't see behind the counter. She sat down at the end of the kitchen table. Zim came out balancing two plates on his hands. He set one down in front of Gaz, and the other across from him. Gaz looked at the plate. It was a waffle with whipped cream eyes, and a strawberry nose. It had a banana slice mouth. It was very cute.  
Dib came out with a gold-wrapped gift. He set it in front of Gaz. Gaz grinned.  
"Ohhh, I get a present!" Dib and Zim grinned back.  
"Yeah. We made it ourselves." She undid the gold bow, and tore through the gold wrapping. Tiny pieces fell to the ground feet away.  
"WOW! A gameslave! How did you make a gameslave?"  
"Basic stuff, really. The main hard drive-" Dib glared at Zim.  
"Hypothetical question, Zim." Zim looked at the table.  
"Oh. Um. If you have any problems or glitches or anything tell me and I'll fix it."  
"I'm sure it'll be fine."  
"Me too."  
"What do you want to do today? Anything you want to do is our treat."  
"Limit is what, like $20?" The two boys looked at each other mischievously.  
"No. No limit." Gaz thought it wiser not to ask.  
"I dunno. Coney Island." Gaz laughed at her own joke.  
"Coney Island it is." Said Zim seriously.  
"I was kidding. That would be fun though. Ooooh, I know."

Zim moved silently through the fog, his weapon held ready. Strange noises echoed through the strange environment. Garishly painted shapes loomed above him.  
He saw a slight movement to one side, and whirled around, releasing several shots in rapid succession. A bright light flared up, and he ran the other way. He sent off random shots behind him as he ran. He hid behind a glowing orange wall. He looked around, at the ready.  
He didn't see Dib. The boy snuck up around the other side of the wall, his own weapon ready to fire. He jumped over the wall, a red beam emerging from his weapon. It hit Zim directly in the chest. Zim shuddered.  
"I'll get you back for that, Dib." Dib ran off.  
Zim slowly counted to five, and then took off after Dib. His laser gun vibrated, signaling the end of the stop period. He saw Dib duck behind a black-lit wall. He jumped around it, hitting Dib twice in the shoulder. He backed against the wall, covering his back, and watched Dib, his gun at ready. Dib's target harness vibrated, but before he could fire, Zim shot him again, deadening his gun. Dib, seeing no other choice, jumped the 4-foot wall, and disappeared into the fog. Zim grinned, but stopped when he felt his harness vibrate. Where…?  
He looked up into the second level, a maze of twisting passages, riddled with dead ends and mirrors. Sections of the floor were grate, making it easy to catch victims from above.  
Gaz grinned down at him, giving him a little wave. She turned to fire at someone else, invisible to Zim. He aimed at her, and fired, but missed. She turned back to him, but was hit with another laser from whoever she had just fired at. Zim took the opportunity to sheath his gun and climb a nearby rope ladder. He was going after Gaz. He ran toward where she was, shooting at a few random kids along the way. They ignored him as just another player. He came up onto the landing where he had last seen Gaz. He saw the place where he had been hiding. Then he went off to look for Gaz again. He knew she'd be here, somewhere. That was her style. Lure 'em in, shoot 'em. Suddenly, the whole place seemed deserted. There was no one but him and Gaz. He saw something move, and shot at it. The red beam reflected off the mirror and hit him. He rolled his eyes.  
"Shot myself. Stupid rookie's mistake. Ris-TEF!" He ended in an Irken curse as Gaz came from behind a mirror, weapon shooting of several red beams. Zim's gun was effectively paralyzed. She grinned evilly. He was stuck in a dead end. A huge yellow light blazed in a corner.  
"Game over." Said a computerized voice. Gaz sighed.  
"Oooh, I had you trapped, too. Ah well. Wanna do another?"  
"Sure." They walked toward the exit.

And the winner with the most hits is… Gamegurl!" Gaz jumped in the air, and clapped her hands. The announcer handed her her score card.  
"And the winner who got hit the least is… Invadr!" Zim grinned his 'I'm superior' smile, and took his card. Dib hadn't won anything this time, but he wasn't too upset. They added their score cards to the growing pile.  
"Are we doing another one?" asked Dib. Gaz and Zim shared a look.  
"Yes." They said in unison.  
"Cool."

No. No. Not again. They said that last one was their last one. They've been doing this all day! Every five minutes for the last hour. I need a break. I do not get paid enough for this. They're coming again. They want three more tickets. Codenames? I ask. They smile. Invadr. Gamegurl. Mothman. I know it. They know it. But they think, and debate. They ask me what I think. They go through several different ones. And then they go with the same codenames they've had all day. Only another minute until shift change.

Several hours later, the gaming was interrupted by the sudden, desperate need for food. Gaz wanted to go to Bloaty's. Zim swallowed his horrible dislike for the place. He didn't eat any pizza though. And he yelled at a few of the monster robots. They freaked him out.  
Dib and Gaz had a pizza-eating contest. Gaz won after eating ten pieces of pizza. Zim just ate his lick-em-stick. Plus a big bar of white chocolate. Yum. Chocolate.  
After lunch, they were all pretty bored with Laser Tag so they sought entertainment elsewhere. They walked around the city. Then they made the fatal error of going into a 24/7.  
They bought three Brainfreezys. They sat outside and drank them, watching the world turn. And then they got another Brainfreezy. And then just one more. Did I mention that Brainfreezys are like 197 sugar? Yeah.

"LET'S RACE AGAIN!" Three streaks of color ran down the road, moving at a sugar-accelerated pace. People ran for cover.  
"I WIN I WIN I WINNNN!" Yelled Zim. He now knew the pleasures behind Gir's lifestyle. It was great.  
"LET'S RACE AGAIN!" They ran back. Some random pedestrian threw a water balloon at Dib in an attempt to calm him down. It didn't work.  
"HE THREW BALLOON OF DOOM! GET HIM!!!" The poor helpless man ran away, and the three lunatics followed him. They'd been chasing each other all morning, they could chase someone else.

1 chaos-filled hour later  
Six saucer-sized eyes stared at the horror on the movie screen. Gaz wanted to sit in the front row. Which would have been fine if the movie wasn't 'Vampire babysitter murderers 3-D.' Zim screamed. It was a scary movie.  
Gaz stared at the violence on the screen. She grinned. You could just see her brain taking notes. Zim stared too. He had never been to a movie before. The glory of it astounded him. Dib stared for four seconds. Then he just watched the movie in brief snatches between unbending his neck. Have you ever sat in the front? You have to keep your head at like a 90 degree angle.  
Then there was the sugar drop. They all fell asleep. They missed most of the movie.

"Thanks, guys. That was a lot of fun. I wish all my birthdays were like this." Gaz grinned. The three friends said goodbye. Dib and Gaz walked down their pathway, and Zim went into his glowing base. Gaz wrote everything that had happened that day in her journal. Then she started on her new game.  
The first two levels were pretty easy. The demonic squirrels were pretty easy to beat. The third level was harder. In it the chipmunks of evil joined the squirrels. It took her ten minutes to beat that level. For the third level, that was a long time.  
Finally, after beating the fourth level an hour later, she had to go to bed. She saved the game, and dropped into bed.


	5. Romantic stuff

  
_1 week later.  
_Gaz stood under the awning at skool. Rain poured down all around her. She didn't notice. She was engrossed in her game. She was trying to beat the last level. She had been trying to defeat the King Squirrel for an entire day now. This was the hardest game she had ever played. It was great.  
Dib and Zim came out of the Skool loaded down with textbooks. They staggered under the weight. Then they started off into the rain. Zim hoped desperately that the paste would hold for the trip home. He'd never make it to shelter with all these books.  
"I was thinking we could race 'em. Like on the moon or something. I think Tak's ship will do-" Dib cut off when he noticed Zim wasn't paying attention.  
"Earth to Space Boy! Hey, Earth to Zim!" Zim shook his head, clearing it of whatever he had been thinking.  
"Thinking about the physics test tomorrow." He said. "I like physics. It's the same everywhere. It's the only thing I really get on this planet. Besides math."  
"Ah, you'll get used to it. You only don't get it cuz you missed everything up till 6th grade. You'll catch up." Zim jumped.  
"OW!" he looked at a thin column of steam coming from his forarm.  
"Shoot. The paste is wearing off." Fortunatly they were almost home. Zim shifted his book bag to cover the small hole. Another hole opened up. Then another. "Argh. I have to go home. Wanna come over and do homework?"  
"Yeah, Ok." Zim ran down his sidewalk and slammed the door. He dropped his bookbag on the floor, where it made small cracks.  
"GIR!" The robot jumped off the couch and stood at attention.  
"Gir, go get the healing salve." The robot ran off and returned with a small tube. Zim took it, and squeezed a little of the purple liquid into the small burns the water had made.  
They healed before his eyes. 

Gaz was three seconds from beating the last level. Her eyes slitted in concentration. She gave off an aura, and people unconsciously walked around her, not even noticing the girl.  
"YES!! Oh, yes, yes YESSS!" She threw her arm in the air. Victory!  
"You win" Said the gameslave tonelessly. Then the screen flashed. Words scrolled down. Gaz looked at the screen. This had never happened when she won a game.  
"Hi Gaz" It read "It's me, Zim. So you beat the game. Good job. I programmed this so I would have no choice but to tell you this." Gaz kept reading. Her eyes got bigger and bigger. So did her smile.  
(I have no idea what Zim would say. I stink at romantic stuff.)

"Warning." Said Zim's computer. It was back in his house now. "Warning, No. 369"  
Zim's eyes widened. 369. He thought it would take her a lot longer to beat the game.  
"Uh, Dib? You have to go. Now. Sorry. No. 369"  
"What's that?" Dib asked, confused.  
"It's very_ important_. GOODBYE, Dib." Dib decided he really didn't want to know.

Gaz had no idea why she wasn't stopping at her house. She was even less sure why she was stopping at Zim's. She had no idea why she was walking down the path.  
What am I doing? That was probably just Dib playing a joke on us. He'll probably have a good laugh at us. Maybe it's ZIM playing a trick on ME. There's no way Zim likes me. He's an alien, he was sent here to KILL us all. (Angsty, no?)  
She knocked on his door, and it was a moment before he opened it.  
"Hi, Gaz…" He said unsuredly. Gaz was so confused at seeing Zim acting anything other than blindly superior that she laughed. Zim looked crestfallen.  
"You're not being superior." She said.  
"I've never done this before. So…I guess… just being human makes you better than me at this." He straightened up. "Not that that applies to anything else of course"  
Gaz laughed again. So the message was genuine.  
"Rule number one, spaceboy. NEVER insult your date." Zim grinned a little, and opened the door. Gaz walked inside, and Zim closed the door behind her.

OK! That's all there is. IF I get enough emails (5 ought to do it…HINT HINT) I will write more…or maybe a lot more.


	6. Off topic stuff

HELLO!  
I am back to write MORE of my fanfic-y goodness. But this might not be so good, Cuz I wrote the story about a month ago, and I kinda lost the story line. But for the faithful fans who REVEIWED, I will do my best.  
Zim is gonna be REALLY OOC for this chapter. And Gaz is pretty OOC for the whole story, so that doesn't matter.  
I do happy jig at: inu-youkai911, and my computer that plays music. I do meano frowny face at: … THE SKY!  
CURSED BLUENESS OF DEATH!  
PS. I learned how to use italics today…. 

Chapter 5

Zim watched Gaz walk to the couch. Gir had managed to cover the whole thing in chocolate, and he barely managed to save her from sitting in it. The robot himself was nowhere to be found.  
"Gaz?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm glad you beat the game."  
"I'm glad too. I just hope I can beat the last level."  
"I'm sure we can do it." Zim blushed.  
"I…I'm not exactly sure how this is supposed to work." He admitted. Gaz rolled her eyes, smiling.  
"Don't you have DATES on your planet?"  
"Ye… no, not really."  
"Well, technically the first date is supposed to be just dinner and a movie."  
"Technically?"  
"We could do something else."  
"Like what?"  
"What do you think?"  
"I don't know.. This whole 'date' thing is _YOUR _custom."  
"Well, then, _YOU_ tell me what you do on _YOUR_ planet, Mr. Alien!" Gaz said testily, folding her arms.  
Zim looked at the floor, kicking his foot back and forth.  
"We don't _have_ things like that on Irk."  
"Don't you have any kind of romantic things there at all?"  
"No…On Irk, there aren't things like affection. There is only loyalty to the Tallest. And everything else is unnecessary." "Havn't you ever loved _anyone_?"  
"You."  
Gaz started. She looked up, into the downcast purple eyes. This Zim was so… different from the eccentric egomaniac she knew.  
_Yeah, but I'm different, too._ She thought.  
"Why don't we just see a movie?" Zim asked, almost pleading.  
"Do you have a paper?"  
"Why?" Zim asked suspiciously.  
"So we can look up the times of the movies, duh."  
"No… Can we look it up online?"  
"I think so… Yeah."  
"I got it covered then."  
He turned toward the kitchen, then turned back around.  
"The interface is in the labs. Want to come?"  
"Whatever." They walked into the kitchen. To Gaz's surprise, there was a toilet there. Zim gestured to it, with a fake little bow.  
"Ladies first."  
"You've got to be kidding. I have to ride the TOILET?"  
"Or we could take the fridge, but that's really not big enough."  
"Fine…"  
Gaz climbed into the toilet, which was, not surprisingly, free of water. She pushed the flusher, and a slow spinning took her down about a floor. She found herself in a dark purple room, not as big as she remembered. Of course, the last time she had been here, she was much smaller, and not really paying attention.  
Tubes and wires snaked across the ceiling, occasionally twitching as something went through them. She could barely see beyond the first level, it was too dark. A sound like a finger running down a clean plate made her spin around. Zim dropped out of a hole in the ceiling, landing on his feet and acting like this was totally normal.  
"It's over here." He said, pointing, and walking in a random direction. Gaz wondered how he remembered. She would be lost in a few seconds flat.  
He led her through several passages and doorways to a small room. In the room was a basic computer.  
"I thought it might be good to have one of these." He said. "Just in case."  
He pushed the huge 'on' button. In a few seconds the screen flared to life. In a few seconds more, he was connected to the internet.  
"Fast." Murmured Gaz.  
"Where do I go?" Zim asked.  
"Here, let me-" Gaz moved to touch the mouse.  
"No! I mean, uh, I'm not sure if this room is reprogrammed yet, so you might not want to touch anything."  
"What is that supposed to mean?!" Zim sighed.  
"The house is a tool designed for a soldier. And it is programmed as so. It's designed to… eliminate any and all intruders. The wiring has to be overhauled manually, a project I have been working on, but his house is BIG. And I don't know If I've got all the smaller parts done yet. So don't touch."  
Gaz was speechless. To create a house that would protect its self…  
"Where do I go, again?"  
"Uh… I think it's Fandango"  
Zim typed it in, and a website popped up instantly.  
"Yeah, this is it. Hey, look. It's October 31. That rings a horrible bell for some reason… what is it…"  
"It's Halloween." Said Gaz, remembering. Zim paled visibly.  
"Irk, no. Not that…"  
"What's wrong with Halloween?"  
"THE ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!"  
"What zombies?"  
"Don't you remember, all the- Oh, wait. You don't know about DIB'S HEAD!!!"  
"It's really big…"  
"That's cuz there's an alternate dimension in there."  
"Riight… whatever you say. Look, Halloween's not so bad. There's free candy!! What could be bad about that?"  
"Mm… candy is good…"  
"Yeah! You dress up scary and walk around getting free candy from people!"  
"Candy is good…"  
"Let's go trick-or-treating!"  
"What's that?"  
"It's when you ask people for candy."  
"Okay… but I will not ask. ZIM WILL DEMAND CANDY!!!!"  
"You do that. We have to make costumes, though."  
"Costumes?"  
"Like a disguise. You wear it when you go trick-or-treating." Zim gestured to his contacts and wig.  
"Like this?"  
"Yeahh, but less normal."  
"I can do that. What should we go as?"  
"You know what would be funny? If I went as in Irken, and you went as, like, a policeman or something."  
They laughed at the irony for several minutes, even though it wasn't really that funny. I have no idea why they were laughing so hard.  
"That's a good idea." Zim said when he finally stopped laughing.  
"I can make you into an Irken, no problem. I don't think I can make an officer's uniform, though. I think I have a hat somewhere, though."  
"That'll work."

Zim navigated through a pile of boxes. Gaz opened one, and found it to be full of spare mechanical peices. Another was full of (for some reason) doll parts.  
"Ah, here we are." Said Zim, dragging out something metallic from behind a pile of crates.  
It looked like a tall egg, on end. On the outside was a keypad, and a black seam ran around the edges.  
"Now, a female Irken wears a slightly different uniform." Zim was saying. "They also have curled antennae, and, although they have red eyes, I think you would look better with purple."  
"Purple's cool." said Gaz.  
"You also need green skin. This machine here can do that. It's an artifical dye, which works for about 24 hours. It doesn't come of on your clothes, though."  
"That's good."  
"Speaking of clothes. I don't have a female uniform here, but since uniforms basicly come out of little tubes, I can make one in a few hours."  
"Which'll give me time to put an officer's costume together." said Gaz.  
"Meet you back here in two hours?" "See you then." Said Gaz.

I did it again. See, my problem is that I'm a hopeless romantic who hates writing romance. PLUS I love Halloween. And I wanna see Gaz as an Irken. That would be cool.  
And, uh… more up soon, unless you people don't REVIEW. Yay.  
Tell me if you want more romantic stuff or not.


	7. You have to read this part

CHAPPY 7!  
Mentally deficient peoples of teh Earth: I own nothing at all. NOT A THING!! Not Zim, not Gaz, not Gir. If you refuse to beleive this, feel free to send me fanmail. then I'll send assassins after you! :Þ 

"Okay. I pulled this together... I think it'll pass in the dark." Gaz removed a blue shirt and black pants from her bag. In the red lighting of the lab they looked almost black. A fake plastic badge made it look more realistic.  
"I got that at an assembly. They gave them out like they think we're little kids. Ha."  
"I got the uniform ready. It was designed for me, but I think it'll fit you. Try not to get it wet, though. It dissolves."  
Zim and Gaz walked into different rooms and began to change. Gaz found black gloves and boots. They were a little shiny. Black pants were only a little below her knees so that they wouldn't get caught in the boots. The shirt was a dark red. Three thin lines crossed it horizontally. There were short black sleeves slit up the top. Under that, a pink and black striped sleeve went to a little below the elbow, disappearing into the gloves.  
The shirt was a little tight, but other than that, they all fit fine. It was designed for Zim, so that was a little surprising.  
She walked back into the main storage room to wait for Zim. A minute later, he came out. The costume really looked real.  
"Okay." Zim said. "This little machine here will basicly change skin color, eye color, pretty much whatever you want, for a 24-hour period. It uses dye, not makeup, so it won't come off."  
Gaz nodded, and walked toward the egg. With a pneumatic hiss, it opened, a little steam rising out. A little nervously, she stepped in, and is hissed shut behind her.

Zim hit a few buttons on the console. A loading bar appeared. When it was done, the egg opened again. Zim gasped. Gaz looked exactly like an Irken. She had light green skin, and solid purple eyes. Her purple hair was pulled back into a tight ponytail, and two curled antennae protruded toward the back of her head. They were made of wire, but the effect was achieved.  
He hit a few more buttons, pre-programming the machine. As Gaz searched through as bag for a mirror, he stepped into the egg. Gaz looked at herself in the mirror. She had to admit the green skin was cool. It was set off a lot by her purple hair and red shirt. She liked the shirt, too. Maybe she'd find one to wear all the time.  
She turned around just in time to see Zim jump out of the egg, which was opening a fourth time. He looked exactly like a human. She wondered for a second why he didn't look like that ALL the time. Dib would never have suspected a thing.  
He had dark, tanned skin, and blue eyes. Not solid blue, like regular, human blue. His antennae had disappeared, covered by short brown hair.  
"How do I look?" He asked, a little self-consciously.  
"Like… a human."  
"You look like an Irken." Zim walked up to her. "A beautiful Irken." She looked up at him, smiling.  
"You look pretty good, too." Zim leaned down, and Gaz realized he was going to kiss her. She smiled and leaned up. She met his lips, and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him. He wrapped his arms around her, too. She had never kissed anyone before, but she still knew a good kisser. And Zim was a good kisser.

"AWWWWWWW!!!! LOOKIT DAT!!"  
Gaz squealed, jumping backwards. Her heart was going a million miles an hour. And not just because of the sudden loud noise.  
"GIR!" Zim was suddenly very angry. "GIR! You get your ass down here NOW!"  
"Aww," Said Gir, dropping down off the ceiling. "You said a bad woooooorrd….."  
"YES, I said a bad WORD! And I'm gonna say MORE if you don't SCRAM!! When I have someone over, you need to STAY in your ROOM!!"  
"I don't LIIIIIIKE my room."  
"Take Pig."  
"KEN I HAVE TACOS!?!?!" Zim sighed, and covered his face with his hands.  
"Yes. You can have tacos. BUT, only in your room."  
"TACOOOOOOO!!!!" Gir's feet burst into flame, and he flew off to… god only KNOWS where Gir goes.  
Zim turned back to Gaz, who's heart was beginning to go the regular speed again.  
"I'm sorry about that. He's more trouble than he's worth, but I'm kinda attached to him."  
"Yeah… I see why." Said Gaz.  
"Anyway... want to go now"  
"It's still too early. But... I know where there's a haunted house we can go to"  
"Yeah. Let's just get out of the lab."

To be continued.


	8. Danger, and intreague!

Gaz walked behind Zim as he traced his way through the boxes and crates. Suddenly she noticed something.  
"Zim, your PAK's gone!"  
"No, it's not. I covered it up. It, uh, compresses a little, if I want it to." He looked at her closely. "And… you don't have one."

"Oh, yeah…" Gaz looked at the floor.

"Wait. I think I can fix this."

He disappeared into the red darkness. Gaz suddenly felt the room expand around her. The darkness went on forever. She heard a quiet rustling, and Zim reappeared. In his hand was what looked like a PAK, only it was silver with red spots.

"Ooooh, nifty." Said Gaz.

"Okay, I made this once when I was bored. It's fake more or less. You can use it if you want. But here's the thing. It's equipped with spider legs and stuff, but it works through neural imputs."

"And… English would be?"

"If you put it on, you'll get all the stuff, but it's gonna sting for a second when you put it on, because it connects, basicly, to your brain."

"Tell me again why you have this?"

"Do you want it or no?"

"Uh… ah, what the hell." She turned around. Zim put the silver machine on her back, and it glowed slightly. Gaz's arm twitched slightly, and her hand formed into a fist. She gritted her teeth. Zim was right. It stung. A LOT.

And then it was over, as suddenly as it had started. Her back didn't hurt anymore. It was just warm. Really warm. She put her hand on her forhead. It was normal temperature.

"Do you feel hot?" She asked.

"No, it's the PAK. It can adjust your temperature." He grimaced and thought of the 'adventure' they had had the week before. "To a certain extent."

"Neat-o"

"So, what about the… what was it… haunted house?"

"Oh, yeah. Wait till you see it." The house in question was actually an old barn, fixed up for the Halloween season. Colored lights played across the barn and surrounding forest, but did next to nothing to illuminate it. Gaz grinned, liking the look of the actors winding their way through the line. Zim was trying to hide it, but this was the scariest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

"We… we go in there?"

"Yeah! It's lots of fun. It's really scary, there's ghosts and things all over."

"What about all the keep out signs and enter at your own risk?"

"Zim… those are FAKE. They really want you to come in."

"Yeah," said a scary voice behind them. They whirled around, and came face-to-face with a ghoulish demon. Strips of his flesh hung off his face. "We want you to come in… SO WE CAN EAT YOUR BRAINS!!!!!"

"AAAUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!" Screamed Zim. Gaz giggled.

"Zim, really. This is all fake. These are just people in costumes. Evryone is in costumes on Halloween. You'll barely find a regular human anywhere around. C'mon. Let's go get in line."

They got their tickets and went to stand in the line. It was pretty short, they only had to wait about 15 minutes, but in that time they were approached by a werewolf, a vampire, a ghoul, a ghost, something that had once been dead, and a stoner. The last one might or might not have been real.

When they reached the black door to the barn, a creature with horns stepped out of the blackness, beconing to them.

"Welcome, to the house of HORROR!!" It screamed at them. "Please do not touch any of the creatures. They may decide to EAT YOU… or, y'no, throw you out or something. Some parts of the floor (THAT ARE HAUNTED) may move without warning. Carry on." He pointed off into the blackness. They crept off in a random direction for a few seconds. Gaz grabbed Zim's arm, not entirely out of fear. One arm out, Zim felt through the darkness. Sticky things hung from the ceiling: they felt like spider webs. After a few feet, they were replaced by burlap bags, hanging from the ceiling.

"These bags feel kid of-" Bright red lights flared up, and a scream was heard. The bags began to writhe and squirm. Screams were heard within them. Whatever was in these bags, it was alive. A demon came out of nowhere, and, yelling at them to shut up, began to beat at the bags.

"Sorry, my… dinner, doesn't want to be eaten. You'd be surprised what a fight IMPENDING DEATH can bring out in a person." He ushered them on, into a thin, barely lit passageway. Every few feet, a hand would reach out and attempt to grab them. More than one was splattered with blood. The floor suddenly bucked and jerked, and a chainsaw noise was heard. Zim ran forward, trying to find some light. In the next room, Zim stopped. Gaz came up a foot behind him, looking at the empty room.

It comprised of a narrow passage between several bar cages. There would barely be room to move between the bars. Gaz hooked back on to Zim's arm, and, giggling, pushed him into the room. Still nothing burst loudly out to greet them. Gaz kept giggling. Zim was completely unaware of how the humans could enjoy this horror. His soldiers's sense was drumming a tattoo on the back of his skull. Something was not right.

They had reached the middle of the room when the creatures burst from the shadows. They filled the cages, arm, hands, reaching for the only two not imprisoned. Gaz shrieked, then realized that they were not evil. They were scared. They didn't have the same gory makeup of the other ghouls. They were dressed like normal people. Some wore costumes, but they were ladybugs,and regular things, not ghosts.

"QUICK!" One shrieked. "You have to run!! Out into the maze, hurry! BEFORE THEY FIND YOU!!"

"Before WHO finds us?" Shouted Zim, but they only told him to run, hurry, hide. Find a way out, and fast! Zim ran out of the room, holding Gaz's hand, pulling her behind him. She didn't scream. They were outside. Sort of. Ten-foot tall partitions surrounded them, in a maze.

"Zim, this isn't fake. This isn't how it works. Oh, god…"

"I told you this was a bad idea."

"Fine. We have to get out of here."

"Uh… I say we go… left." They went left. This turned them to a short passage that turned at a 90 degree angle… and then descended into the black Earth.

"Not that way."

"Geez, I'm almost expecting the minotaur to come rushing up at us." Something in the dark passage moved. Two red eyes gleamed in the dark.

"I say we go right." They ran back, turning right that time. This led to a forked path. They turned right again. They silently crept along. Gaz stepped on a twig from a tree that wasn't there, and the crack resonated around the maze. A face popped up over the side of the path.

"Hey, you guys lost?"

"Yeah," Zim choked.

"Us too. Me and my two friends." The man pulled himself over the wall, landing right in front of them. "My friends, STABBY AND GASH!!!" He pulled out two huge knives, both wet and red, and rushed after them. Zim grabbed Gaz's hand, and they ran, pell-mell down random paths, minds set on doing one thing: Not meeting the man's two friends.

"I HATE Halloween." Zim said when they finally stopped. Gaz panted, out of breath. They didn't hear anyone coming. Which was probably good.

"We have…to get…out…of this …maze." She said between breaths.

"The woman's a genius." Said Zim sarcasticly. "Any ideas on how to DO that?"

"We have to see where an exit is, and where the people in the maze are. But we'd have to be taller."

In an answer, Zim unfolded the legs in his PAK, rising about four feet above the edge of the wall.

"Amazing. This thing is huge. And very well populated, but he looks of it." Zim did a 360, looking all around. "There's only one exit. And we're pretty far away from it. It looks like if we take this path," He pointed at one. Gaz was trying to work her PAK, it wasn't responding. "And go... left, left, right left right right, it should take us out." Gaz memorized the sequence. After all the video game codes, she was a master.

"HEY! Look!" came a voice, echoing around them. "THERE'S ONE! GET HIM!!" Zim dropped, ducking to the ground.  
"And we have to go NOW!!" They ran down the path, Gaz pointing the way at each intersection.

"Left, left, right, left, left, right." She repeated quietly. "Wait. The exit should be right here. We went left, left, right, left, left-"

"Left! We should have gone right there. No problem. We just have to go back."

"Oh, that could be a problem." Said a voice behind them. They turned around slowly. A tall man with a chainsaw stood there. He revved it loudly. "No one EVER gets out of the maze of DOOM!"

He laughed evilly. Which gave them time to run. Some more. They tried to keep parallel to the outer wall. The further they ran, the darker and gloomier it get. Finally, Zim tripped over something and went sprawling.

"What was…" He started. The thing coughed.

"You… must escape." It said in a wheezing voice. Zim looked, and saw that the ground was bloodstained around it. The thing coughed again.

"Quick… before they find you, too." The thing pointed to the wall. Looking closely, Gaz found a tunnel, going under it.

"Zim, look, we can get out!" she said joyfully.

"But what about him? We can't just LEAVE this guy here!"

"Go…" He coughed a last time, and his head slumped forward. His ragged breaths stopped.

"Come on, Zim! We can send someone back for him!"

"But-" Zim's protesting was cut short by a sound coming closer. The sound of an engine revving. Gaz crawled through the hole, Zim came through right after. It was less gloomy on the other side. In fact, it was almost cheery. Lights were set up all around. A stall sold T-shirts with "I survived the Maze of Doom" on them.

"Wasn't that great?" Gaz asked.

"GREAT?! That guy just died, and… and… It was fake, wasn't it?"

"YOU WERE SO SCARED!!" Gaz shrieked, laughing her head off.

"Fine. I was scared. But if you ever tell ANYONE…" Zim trailed off. Gaz turned big, innocent purple eyes up at him.

"Who, me?"

"Just… don't tell."

"I won't. Hey. It's probably dark enough for trick-or-treating now… If you're not too scared."

"I'm not scared."

To be continued… Thanks for everyone who reviewed! You are all wonderful people who will have a seat of power when I rule the world! Yay!


	9. Trickortreating

Merry Christmas everybody! Or Hanukah! Or whatever you feel like celebrating this holiday season! Here's my present to you!

Zim had never in his life been trick-or-treating. In fact, he normally spent Halloween at home, targeting lasers and cowering in the lower labs. To Gaz, this was completely unacceptable.

"You HAVE to go trick-or-treating at some point in your life!" She exclaimed, pulling him toward a large development. "It's taboo!"

"I still dunno. Last year, they say some kid got razor blades in their candy! That's not good!"

"Zim, that's an urban legend. They always say that."

"If you say so." Zim looked apprehensivly at the darkening sky. Werewolf howls echoed throughout the streets.

"You remembered the bags?"

"Yeah." Zim reached into his PAK, pulling two pillowcases out. They were black, with the Irken symbol in red on them.

"Neat pillowcases."

"Pillowcases?"

"Not pillowcases?"

"Just basic sacks. With one addition. Tiny interdimensional link at the bottom. These things'll never fill up."

"You have all the cool stuff."

"I do. You go first."

"You're still not scared are you?"

"IRKENS ARE NEVER AFRAID!!"

"Oh, bull."

"I am not scared. But you go first."

"Fine. But you have to come with me." She dragged him up to the first house. A group of little kids was just leaving. Gaz rang the doorbell. The door opened, and an old lady stood there, with a big bag of candy.

"TRICK OR TREAT!" Shouted Gaz. She held out her empty bag. Zim cautiously held his out, too.

"Well, don't you have a creative costume." The lady said, dumping candy into their bags.

"Thank you," They chorused together, before setting off for the next house. They ran straight across the darkened lawn. After the first thirty houses, their bags were getting heavy. Most people had overloaded on candy this year, and were determined to get rid of all of it. The trick-or-treaters didn't mind.

House 779 was particularly interesting. A woman came to the door, dressed in a bathrobe. She gave them some Q-tips and asked if they were friends of the strange little boy who lived there.

"Uh… no. Sorry." Muttered Zim. The next house was equally interesting. Zim rang the doorbell. It sounded like someone screaming. The door opened a crack, and a young man peered out.

"Trick or treat!" Said Gaz nervously.

"Would you like your eyes removed?"

"No thank you." Said Gaz. They scurried off. It was about an hour after that they saw Dib. It took them two whole seconds to decide to play a trick on him. After all, they hardly looked like themselves. They shook out their bags until the candy had all filtered through the tiny links in the bottom, and then folded the 'empty' sacks into their paks. Zim retreated into a backyard, hiding in the dark shrubs. Gaz stood in plain view in front of the house, waiting for Dib to come around to that house. Which he did.

(Dib's POV)

Of all the days for another Irken to show up. My Halloween is shot. This must have been what Zim's 369 was. But then why isn't he here? I walked up the Irken, she was undoubtably Irken, she even had purple eyes, and a Pak. She was standing on someone's front yard, looking disoriented. I approached her slowly, I didn't know if she would bolt. To my surprise, she talked to me first.

"Zim? You're Zim right?"

I have two options here. One, I can say no I'm not, but then she won't have any reason at all to trust me. Or, two, I can tell her I'm Zim. I can take her back to his base, he'll be there hiding, he always is on Halloween.

"Yes. Irken Zim."

"I'm Tix. The tallest sent me here to… uh… I was banished."

"Tough. Here. Let's go back to my base."

"Are the humans always dressed like this?"

"No, thank goodness. It's a holiday. We all dress up for one day."

I started walking back to Zim's house. I think it's only about two blocks. But man, this bag is getting heavy. I got a whole load this year. I'll be eating candy till next Halloween. Tix followed behind me. She walks like Zim does. Or, like I am at the moment. I figure we both look pretty ridiculous, walking along with our noses up in the air. But what the heck, it's Halloween.

When we reached Zim's house, I could tell we had a problem. The windows were dark. It was obviously deserted. Where could Zim be on Halloween? Burying my concern, I strutted up to the front door, flinging it open, and holding it for Tix. I closed it behind her, and the automatic lights went on.

"Is this location secure? No Earth slugs can hear what we say?"

"It's as secure as you can get. It is the base of ZIM!"

"Good. We need to prepare the coming invasion."


	10. There is a prank gone wrong

This chappy is a little confusing. Zim and Gaz (Who are a policeman and an Irken) Are playing a practical joke on Dib. It's going a little far, just cuz I love dramatizing. Also, when you are done with this story, you must all go read stories by QOTSAfreak. Amazing author, seriously.

Zim followed close behind Gaz and Dib. They were both walking funny. After a few moments, he realized they were both attempting to imitate him. HA! The human skeletal system was unable to replicate his walk. He had studied it extensively.

But it was still most amusing to watch them strutting along. Dib trying to be him, Gaz trying to be Irken. Why exactly Gaz had asked Dib if he was Zim, Zim didn't know. Even more confusing was why Dib had said yes. And now they were heading back to the base. He hoped they didn't go into the labs without him…

He could hear what they were saying, the result of an audio link between the two PAKs. He listened with intrest as Gaz fabricated an amazing story of her own.

"Good. We need to prepare the coming invasion."

"… Invasion?"

"Don't play stupid Zim. We've been working this out for months. The armada is coming."

"Ah, of course. The armada. When is it estimated to arrive?"

"Zim, are you alright? The armada is coming tonite, Zim. We've been through all of this. The soldiers won't be noticed tonite, because of the holiday." Gaz took Dib's hands, her voice raising. She sounded truly joyful. "They are already here, Zim! They are all over, beginning the task! As we speak, the Earth monkeys are being extinguished! The Massive will come over the horizon in an hour. And then, the ships of the armada. The Earth people will never have a chance."

"They'll never have a chance. But… is there any way the Armada can be sabotaged? The Earthenoids are smarter than they look."

"Impossible. You said it yourself. The only one who even realized you were an alien was… what was it's name? Bib."

"Dib."

"Yes. And he is wrapped up in your web of deceit. After that glorious thing you pulled off about the Tallest. They were offended that you would even consider the idea that they would turn their back on their greatest soldier."

A pang of sadness rang through Zim's heart. Gaz was an amazing storyteller. He himself almost believed that the armada was coming. Almost.

"Of course they wouldn't. After all, I am ZIM!"

"The only part is it's sister. She knows you are Irken, too. After that stunt you pulled with the crashing ship."

"She had to know. It was unavoidable."

"Ah, well. You have desposed of them, correct?"

"Correct." Internally, Dib screamed. Zim wasn't here. He was out looking for them. How had he been so stupid? He had to save Gaz. If Zim hadn't found her already. His green makeup covered the white color of his face. (He's Frankenstein. Did I mention that?)

"Then nothing left to do but wait. Wait for the glorious conquest of this dirt-ball. Let's go to the roof. We'll watch for the hull of the Massive coming over the horizon, the flank ships delivering their shots short behind. The beauty never gets old, does it?"

"It never does." Replied Dib. Then he bolted.

Dib had two objectives at this point. Number one, get out of Zim's house. Two, find Gaz. This was not as simple as it sounds. Because he had to ditch Tix. Then he would probably have to fight Zim, to get Gaz away from him. Then he had to stop the armada from coming. Stopping the Armada, which had conquered hundreds of worlds, was going to be a task.

(Zim's POV)

Dib ran, leaving Gaz in the main room. Before he had made it to the door, I moved away from the window, moving out to the street. I had no doubt that Dib would come straight to me. I had, after all, a pretty convincing costume. Just as I predicted, Dib came crashing out of the front door, leaving it to slam closed behind him. He ran through the gap in the gate, and straight to me.

"You gotta help me!" He screeched. "There's an invasion coming!"

"Invasion?" I asked. "Son, you're crazy."

"I mean, uh, I can't find my sister."

"You mean Gaz?"

"How did you know?" He grabbed onto my shirt. "Do you know where she is?!?"

"Yes." I smiled evilly. Dib backed off, scared out of his mind. "The invasion is here, Dib! HERE!"

insert maniacal laughter

"ZIM!" Dib's eyes narrowed. He had figured out it was me. I figured maybe it was time to end the prank. At least, I thought so a split second before Dib lost it.

(Dib's POV)

I have nothing to lose. Absolutely nothing. I had made a stupid mistake. I had fallen for a ruse. And now it all was coming out. The Earth was doomed. I was doomed. And this bastard had killed my sister.

"The invasion is here, Dib! HERE!"

I ran into him, pushed him to the ground. If I couldn't save Earth, I was at least taking down this Irken. He wasn't expecting an attack, and I pinned his arms easily.I held his arms down with my knees.And I started taking shots.

One for my sister. One for my dad. And one for evryone else on Earth. This could take a while. And I had all the time in the world. After the first couple punches, his nose started to bleed. It was green. Filthy alien scum.

(Gaz's POV)

This was a bad idea. We never should have done this. I ran down the sidewalk. Dib was on top of Zim, beating the crap out of him.

"Dib, stop it!"

Yeah, like that was gonna work. Dib rounded on me. Zim groaned. There was blood all over his face.

"Why? Why should I stop? My planet, my sister, is dead, because of this bastard."

"No! Listen. It was a prank. A Halloween prank! I'm Gaz! I was going as an Irken for Halloween!"

"Prove it. You've got green skin. You've got one of their PAKs. You've got purple eyes. You've got antennae." I reached up into my hair and pulled off the wire antennae. I threw them at Dib. They bent as they hit the ground.

"I can't change my eyes, or skin, because I dyed them. It'll wash out in about a day."

"I know what only you'll know. What's the secret code for unlimited lives in super kicky fighter?"

"Up up down down Left right left right A B B A start. Now will you get off Zim? God, I think you broke his nose."

Dib got up, still looking suspiciously at me. I didn't care. I knelt down next to Zim. He was out cold, blood running down his face. I ran into the house, where Gir was watching us from the window. I looked around the kitchen for a minute until I found a towel. I ran back outside. I'm starting to get really worried about all this blood.


	11. The Armada

Yay! Lots of chapters up today, because I have a SNOW DAY!! Wee-HOO! In Akron, Ohio, it snowed about two feet in the last 24 hours. GOD BLESS THE SNOW!

(Zim's POV)

I will never ever ever ever play a trick on Dib again. Nothing good comes from it.

Wait. I'm thinking. Which means I must be conscious again. In theory.

The last thing I remember seeing was Gaz coming out of the yard. I hope he didn't go for Gaz after me. God, my nose hurts. I think there's pressure on it… Let's try opening my eyes. No, wait. They are open. I see light.

I lifted up my arm, to see what was covering my face. This apparently scared the crap out of Gaz. She told me what had happened, while I held the towel over my nose. Most of the bleeding had stopped, but most is not all. Dib was nowhere to be found. Gaz said he ran off after she had explained to him what was happening.

"We shouldn't have done that." I said.

"Ya think?"

"No. Really. It wasn't all his fault. He's protective. And we should have known that."

"I couldn't help myself, with the story. It gives you a rush, doesn't it? You've conquered a whole planet. I almost fell for my own ruse. And it gives you a rush."

"I fell for it too. I kept looking over my shoulder, looking for the Massive breaking the horizon." I blew my nose, more blood came out. It's stopped bleeding, I think. "They're never coming, you know. The armada. For years I hoped they would. I would wake up in the morning, and be sure that this is the day the Massive would come. But they never did. And now I'm glad. Because no Planet has ever escaped the Armada."

I stood up and began to walk with Gaz into the house. Gir saw me, and started screaming. I looked in the mirror in the bathroom. And I didn't blame him. Green blood caked my face. It was even splattered up into my fake hair. Dib can really hit. My nose didn't look broken, although it felt it. One of my eyes was blackened.

Or, technically, greened. The dark green on pink skin made an interesting mix. But not so interesting that I'd like to see it again. Ever. I had some green bruises at random spots, and my lip was split.

Yes, I will never piss Dib off again in my life. I turned on the faucet, and gel came through the faucet. It used to be water, but I fixed that. I filled my hands up, and washed off the blood. Gaz looked pained.

"This is my fault. I could have just acted confused. But nooo, I had to go for evil warlord. He's never going to trust either of us again."

"It's not your fault. It was my idea to play a trick on him. And you played the most convincing prank I have seen in a long time. And with all the holographic projectors on Irk, I have seen a LOT."

"I think that was a compliment."

"It was."

(Gaz's POV)

There was a frenzied banging on the door.

"Shit, Zim!!! What have you DONE!!??"

Zim and I rushed to the door. Dib was there, fury etched across his face. Without taking his eyes off us, he gestured to the sky.

The Massive was there, in all it's glory. Zim's jaw dropped.

"I swear I didn't know it was coming!"

"Yeah, like you and Gaz came up with that on impulse."

"We did!" I protested. "I made up the whole thing! Zim and I were trick-or-treating when we saw you, and we decided to play a trick on you. Zim didn't even know what I was going to say."

"If you were trick-or-treating, at the same place I was, then what did house 777 give out?" "That was the weird house. That guy asked us if we wanted our eyes removed."

"Okay, fine."

"See, Dib. We do tell the truth."

"Excuse me for not being trusting, but it seems AN ALIEN SPECIES IS HERE TO KILL US!"

"Speaking of that," Said Zim, "we should get inside. The rest of the armada will be coming soon. And those lasers will flatten anything they hit."

Just as he said it, the fleet flew over the horizon, multicolored beams flying out in every direction. Hundreds of them crissed and crossed, effectively destroying everything in their path. Zim pushed me into the house, and Dib followed us. I jumped into the toilet, and it started down. When I was at the bottom, I heard Zim or Dib coming down next. They came through the tube, and I saw it was Dib.

"Dib, honestly, we didn't know they were coming."

"Well, it doesn't matter now, because we're all gonna die."

"He's right." Said Zim, coming down the tube.

"Isn't there something we can do?" I asked.

"No. There really isn't. It's the organic sweep."

"Organic… How many planets have they DONE this to?"

Zim looked at the floor, not saying anything. Dib ventured out.

"I'm sorry about beating you up so bad."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that too."

"I'm being serious. That was a really good prank. Too good. And I fell for it a little too well. Did you know there's a NasaPlace only a few blocks from here?" Zim didn't react.

"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked.

"They have radar. Radar that can pick up anything in out atmosphere."

"Great. So they know the Irkens are here. Glorious. I can die happy, now."

"And when they see something that shouldn't be there, they start up an alarm. A LOUD alarm."

Wait. There wasn't an alarm… "Great prank, guys, but mine was better."

Zim stared at Dib. I stared at Dib. He smirked back at us. We all jumped for the elevator at the same second. Zim got there first, and disappeared up the tube. I went right after him. Dib was last again.

(No particular POV)

Zim ran out onto the front yard, followed by Gaz, and shortly after, Dib. They stared at the ships flying over their heads, but they had taken on a screensaver type quality. It was easy to see the same patterns fly overhead over and over. Soundlessly, the massive floated off in the distance. Zim stepped past the fence, and the illusion disappeared. He stepped backwards, and it reappeared. He turned to Dib.

"How did you do this? You had less than fifteen minutes!" Dib shrugged.

"My dad's most recent holograph. He designed it for the police, to make convicts think that there's more policemen surrounding them than they thought. It was a pretty simple matter to reprogram it."

"But… these ships, the massive, how did you know what they look like? I mean, how did you know Stickers always skim to the right?"

"Heh. I used to have a couple bugs in your system. They've all been destroyed now, but I downloaded a lot of stuff through them." Gaz laughed.

"Yeah, and after that he paraded it all over. I used to hate you doing that."

"I think we've all been sufficiently tricked, don't you? I want to go inside. It's cold out here."

Dib shut off the holograph, and they all tramped back to the Membrane's house.

Here's the deal. I write, you read, you review. Foolproof.


	12. The Endfull of happiness

Merry Christmas everyone! And, oh, what a Merry Christmas it was! I got enough Zim and JtHM stuff to officaly qualify me for the Scary Fangirl club! Wheeee!  
(About the fic: Ther's no real point to this anymore, it's just random stuff they do. I don't really think there's gonna be much of a plot, just a lot of goofyness, and then the end.)

"Oh, hello, Kids." Said Membrane. "I was beginning to think the Zombies got you." He laughed for no apparent reason. Zim paled, and looked around nervously.  
"Well, I'm just working on this antimatter project a little. Now, listen carefully. I think if there's antimatter, there might be antitime. And if I'm right, we're all going to die!" He laughed again. Without making a sound, the three kids slid around the corner and up the stairs.

"Hey, you guys didn't get any candy!" Dib remarked, unloading his plentiful feast of sugar goodness onto his bed. The bedspread was deep blue, as was most of the furniture in the room. Zim and Gaz shared a look, and reached into their PAKs. They pulled out the 'empty' sacks, and began dumping them onto the floor. Candy poured out onto the black carpet of Dib's room. His eyes got progressively bigger as it covered most of the visible floor. Of course, most of the carpet was covered in old issues of Crop Circle magazines, and old, blurry photos. Dib did not keep his room as neat as it could be.  
"What the…. How the heck did you pull that off?" "Magic!" Said Gaz mysteriously. Zim rolled his eyes.  
"I bet." Said Dib.  
"I bet too." Said Gaz. "I bet I can eat more candy bars than you." "I'll take that bet." Said Zim.  
"Me, too." Said Dib.  
They began separating candy bars from the rest of their candy. Between the three of them, they had close to a hundred.  
"I'll trade you a Snickers for a milky way."Said Zim, holding it out to Dib. Dib tossed a Milky Way at him. "I want to know how you can have so many kinds of candy, and they're all different." "Not really. It's just different variations of peanuts, caramel, cookies, chocolate, and fluffy chocolate. They have the same base." Dib said.  
"You know," Interrupted Gaz, "These would be sooo much better if we microwaved them."

20 seconds later "Kids, don't overload the microwave, it'll explode and END ALL LIFE ON EARTH!!!" "Okay, Dad," Dib and Gaz chorused, as Zim stuffed the twentieth bite-sized bar into the microwave. He hit some buttons, and they all crowded around to watch the marshmallow centers expand, spreading chocolate goo all over. This, however, is not exactly what happened.  
POP!  
Popop!  
POPOPOPOPOPOP!  
"Aww.. crap." Zim moaned. The sugary bars exploded, coating the entire interior of the microwave in molten chocolate. "We've done it now." "We didn't end all life on Earth," Gaz remarked. "Really? You don't say." Dib replied sarcasticly.  
Zim opened the door cautiously. Ropes of gooey marshmallow stretched from the door to the microwave.  
"Hey, how clean is this thing?" He asked.  
Gaz thought. "Pretty. There's always those stupid drones of dad's always flying around de-germing the place." Dib nodded.  
"Why do you want to know?" Zim grinned.  
"We can still eat this…" A spatula whisked around the smooth interior of the futuristic microwave got most of the chocolate out. It was then promptly eaten, with much gusto. Not really to his surprise, Zim found Earth's chocolate to be much better than it's pizza. They left the last smears of cooling chocolate for the drones to clean up, and tramped back upstairs to Dib's room. They grabbed their bags of sugar extract and climbed out his window, and out onto the roof. The city was dark, so the stars were extra bright. They sparkled and twinkled like diamonds on black velvet. Gaz reached out with her hand, the stars were so close she was sure she could touch one. Of course, she knew the stars were billions of miles away, and much too hot to touch, but this one day, she forgot all that, and reveled in the optical illusion.  
Zim lay in the middle, and he saw the stars in a new way. No longer did he think of the planets that circled them, or whether they had been conquered. Today he saw the stars as any Earth monkey would. Far away, something to work toward. He wrapped his gloved hand around Gaz's green one. She squeezed it softly, smiling.  
Dib looked at the stars, and saw the things he had found. The multitude of space beings, the bigfoots, and the ghosts. And he realized that whether anyone else believed him or not, he had seen these things. The boy next to him was an alien, no matter what anyone else said or thought. And he realized he no longer cared.

The End. Merry Halloween Thenks to: The Fic Lord for being awesome,and giving me someone to rant to, and QOTSAfreak for writing awesome stories. Can't wait for the next chapters guys! 


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